Tracking Self
Wildlife trackers will tell you that they learn more about an animal from its tracks than from seeing it in person. An animal’s tracks are an intimate diary entry of its life. Follow the trail in one direction, and you will discover where an animal has been and what it has done. Whose paths it crossed and the nature of those relationships. Is it hunter or hunted, or is it both? Where did it sleep, and when did it wake? Does it prefer to move in light or darkness, in fields or forests? Follow its tracks in the other direction, and you will find what has called it into action. What was drawing it into the landscape and how it must respond, as it is played like an instrument by the world it moves through.1 In the tracks can be signs of health or injuries, awareness or distraction, chance and intention.
Though we can’t always see our own footprints traveling over sidewalks and paved roads, our stories are written there as well. Imagine how your own tracks would read on a day filled with spaciousness and ease. With no need to hurry or to be anywhere in particular, might your steps be more relaxed, slower, and spaced closer together as your pace slows? Contrast those steps to a day consumed by an endless to-do list and not enough time. Can you imagine how your footprints might have large spaces between them and be harried looking as you attempt to cover more ground with less peace of mind? The destinations your trail leads to would likely be different, and with an altered state of mind. So would the story written in the tracks.
There is much in our environment that we do not have control over, and the things that we can change often take time. One thing, however, that can always be done immediately and with great effect is to be intentional about how we carry ourselves in each moment. Moving quickly does not have to mean mindless rushing. Having lots to do does not have to mean worrying. With practice, awareness of when our body has been hijacked by our mind will become more automatic. Each time we notice this is a moment of presence. Noticing, remembering our intentions, and coming back to ourselves is the practice of mindfulness. When met with self-compassion around the challenges of day-to-day life, we are well on our way to authoring our own stories, leaving tracks and trails we are excited for others to read.
Try: For thousands of years, many types of meditations have been practiced. Along with sitting meditation another very common practice is walking meditation. To do this, choose a spot outdoors or indoors that feels comfortable for you to walk about ten feet or so. While you are always welcome to take mindful walking with you on the road, so to speak, as you trail hike or simply walk to work, this practice of mindful walking is intentionally set up in a way for you to release the goal of getting somewhere.
Begin by standing and, if safe for you, closing your eyes. Feel the connection of your feet to the earth, your body balanced and supported in space. Take a few intentionally deeper breaths in, and on each breath out imagine your connection to the earth growing stronger, like the roots of a tree. Shift your weight slightly from one foot to another and notice how this feels. Open your eyes now if they have been closed, and let your gaze be soft and downcast to the floor or ground a few feet in front of you.
To start your mindful walk, take a single step and let your awareness rest with the sensations of the lifting, moving, and placement of that foot. Take another step, and now let your awareness be present with the lifting, moving, and placement of the other foot. Continue this for ten steps or so, staying present with the sensations of your feet connecting with the ground beneath you and the overall feel of your body moving through space. As you move, if it is helpful, you can mentally take note of each part of each step and silently say to yourself what you are doing as it is happening: lifting, moving, placing. Move at a speed that is comfortable for you and allows you to stay present. Balance can be harder to sustain at very slow speeds, and presence can be hard to maintain at fast speeds. That said, it can be fun to work with both of those challenges.
When you have taken your ten steps or so, pause momentarily, feeling what stillness feels like before turning around to walk in the other direction. As you turn, bring your awareness to the sensations of turning that you feel in your body. Now, begin again, one mindful step after the next. For starters, you might try this for ten minutes. At other times, see how longer or shorter periods feel for you. As you transition out of this more formal practice of mindful movement, see how it feels to carry the awareness of your body you have generated into the rest of your day. You will, of course, have countless times where the awareness slips. Remember that the kind return to presence each time is the true practice of mindfulness anyway.